Final Sophomore Research Paper of the Year

This is our fourth and final research paper of the year.  My prompt is based of FRQs that my students are required to write in their AP Human Geography class.  I conferred closely with the AP teachers and they suggested the following question for the 2013-2014 School Year:
"Ethnic vs. Universal relgions.  Which is better for the health of the world?"

For the 2014-2015 School Year, the prompt has changed to:
"Walls and other barriers built by countries to establish their borders are some of the oldest and most controversial elements in the cultural landscape.  Analyze the social, political, economic and environmental consequences faced as a result of one of the walls or other barriers listed below which were established along their borders.  Overall, was the creation of this border more positive or negative for the country in question?

• Great Wall of China
• Berlin Wall
• Hadrian's Wall
• Isreali Border Wall to Gaza Strip"

I started by having my students find one really good source in reference to this question.  I then had them complete the following:

1.      MLA citation

2.      Complete Reliability Check

EVALUATING THE CREDIBILITY OF YOUR SOURCES

ASSESSING THE:

ACCURACY, AUTHORITY, OBJECTIVITY, CURRENCY & INTENDED AUDIENCE

For each of your sources, please answer the following questions in complete sentences on your own sheet of paper.

v  Title of the website and the web address.

v  How did you check the accuracy of the source?  Were you able to validate this information with other sources?  What other sources did you use to validate that this source contains reliable and credible information?  Be specific.

v  How did you check the authority of the source?  Is it clear what company, organization or person is responsible for the contents?  Who is the author of the source?  Was it a commercial, governmental, personal or academic Web site?

v  How did you assess the objectivity of the website?  Objectivity is the extent to which material expresses facts or information without distortion of personal feelings or biases.  What motivation did the author have for placing this information on the web?  Do you know who sponsors the page?  Was there much advertising?  Keep in mind that all of these things are important when assessing the bias and reliability of a source!!!!

v  How did you assess the currency of the material?  Was the date that the material was last updated or written mentioned?  If so, when was it? 

v  Was the intended audience clearly communicated?  Did the depth of coverage match the level your assignment asked for?  Who was the intended audience of your source?

v  From answering these questions, what is your assessment of your source?  Was it credible and reliable?  Provide a clear and brief argument of why your source should be considered appropriate for this assignment.

3.       GIST Summary of the text: 30 words or less

4.       Annotation: how might someone use this text?

5.       Link for your peers

I took all of their sources and compiled them into a source bank that students could peruse as they completed the research throughout the unit.

The students then worked on locating 5 sources - this was the minimum for the paper and annotating each source.  They were asked to annotate for the following with each source during the 2013-2014 School Year:

1. Select a minimum of 5 sources.

2. Annotate each source.  You will want to cut and paste them into your OneNote notebook and create subpages for each source.  You will highlight the source and your corresponding annotations according to the directions below.  You will need to annotate (remember that highlighting is NOT annotating!) for the following:
1. Diction
1. Define unfamiliar vocabulary
2. How does this word impact your understanding of the text?
2. Supports ethnic religions being more beneficial for the health of the world
1. Do you agree/disagree?
2. Why?
3. How might someone counteract this argument?
3. Supports universal religions being more beneficial for the health of the world
1. Do you agree/disagree?
2. Why?
3. How might someone counteract this argument?
4. Raises a question that you plan to research further
1. What question does this raise for you?
2. Find another source (you MUST add this to your Works Cited page and annotate it as a subpage as well) and ANSWER the question this raised for you!

Because the prompt changed, during the 2014-2015 School Year, the annotation requirements changed:

1. Select a minimum of 5 sources.
2. Annotate each source.  You will want to cut and paste them into your OneNote notebook and create subpages for each source.  You will highlight the source and your corresponding annotations according to the directions below.  You will need to annotate (remember that highlighting is NOT annotating!) for the following:
1. Diction
1. Define unfamiliar vocabulary
2. How does this word impact your understanding of the text?
2. Ethos Argument
1. How is the author proving their credibility?
2. How is the author proving the credibility of those they cite?
3. Logos Argument
1. How does this fact strengthen the argument/point?
4. Pathos Argument
1. Why place this emotional pull here?
2. What does the author hope to accomplish with this argument?
5. Raises a question that you plan to research further
1. What question does this raise for you?
2. Find another source (you MUST add this to your Works Cited page and annotate it as a subpage as well) and ANSWER the question this raised for you!

During the 2013-2014 School Year:
We spent a day unpacking the prompt.
We defined "universal relgions" and made a list of their attributes.
We defined "ethnic religions" and made a list of their attributes.
We brainstormed what we believed the term "health of the world" meant.  We answered the question: What would a healthy world look like?
We also talked about possible sub-topics in support for each topic.
In the end we ended up with a huge brainstorm that the kids referenced through the remainder of the essay.
I should note here that we have done this multiple times throughout the year.  The basic strategy is to identify the buzz words, make certain that we really understand them and then use these or synonyms/phrases for these words in the thesis.  We also talked about how to use this same strategy on the upcoming state test that require timed writes.
The students continued to research and annotate for a day or two.  I checked their annotations for points.
Once they had completed the initial research, we did two in-class writes.  I wanted them to practice for the upcoming state test and also to fully understand both sides of this issue.  The first day they did a write in support of universal religions or for the wall prompt, they wrote on how the wall was beneficial for the country in question.  The second day they did a write in support of ethnic religions or, for the wall prompt, they wrote on how the wall was detrimental/negative for the country in question.  I gave points for each one and also written feedback on the strength of their thesis and arguments.
The next day students received their in-class writes back.  They determined, at this point, which write they would develop into their final essay.
We examined two different styles of thesis statement writing: using a colon to write a thesis and how to use a semi-colon to write a thesis.  I did convention lessons here on using colons and semi-colons.  We wrote examples in support of each side.
We also looked at side by side thesis statements - where the topic is stated in the first sentence and then your opinion about the topic is covered in the second sentence.
Notice that I snuck some grammar instruction in there - this is how I like to teach grammar, in context and embedded within the writing instruction.  I find that my students then experiment with some of the more complex sentence structure and do a really good job of editing for the specific conventions that they have been taught.
We also went over topic sentences.  They used the sentences they wrote for their in-class writes and edited those.  We focused especially on advanced transitions - transitions that reference the previous topic covered and also directly referencing the thesis.  This focus was determined by results on previous writing assessments.
To determine what lessons I would teach each day I individually asked every student what they would like more direct instruction on.  What they would like me to show examples of and explain more clearly.  I also used my best judgement based off their scores on writing assessments in the past and the writes they had just completed for me.  I should mention that I have looped with many of these students and have an excellent report at this point with them, in addition to knowing their writing skills (or lack thereof) very well.
As the students were working on their drafts, I covered the following:
- How to introduce and cite evidence in your essay
I teach kids a strategy that I call ICEing
I = Introduce - who said this?  why are they reputable?  what context is necessary in order for your reader to understand the quote that you are integrating?
C = Cite - cite according to MLA format
E = Elaborate (some people call this explanation or commentary, but the SBAC refers to it as elaboration, so I do too now)
I had them keep all evidence in quote form at this point
(Homework: introduce and cite three pieces of evidence - taken from your research in support of each topic sentence developed)
Here are some notes that I developed an introducing evidence:

How to Introduce Your Evidence

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

8:50 AM

It is very important that you smoothly integrate the evidence you select into your paper.  A solid introduction should provide the following for the reader:

• Clear explanation of who said this - this might be a person or a group  (remember that you were not supposed to use the source as part of your reliability check if you could not determine this.
• Clear explanation of why this source is credible/reputable (if you did a good job on your reliability checks you should have already determined this).
• A transition to help move your reader from each piece of evidence you present on to the next.

AND

• Context for the information, if this is necessary.

Let's use the evidence we chose yesterday:

In  817 the councils of Aachen, which were run my the diocesan clergy, created disciplinary enactments that mandated every collegiate church be accompanied by a hospital.  This directly resulted in the creation of more than one hundred fifty-five hospitals between the years of 1207-1577 in Germany alone.

In addition to the fact that historically hospitals connected with churches have been more likely to treat ostracized groups like lepers, study materials from the University of California LA Med School 1101 course revealed that in  817 the councils of Aachen, which were run my the diocesan clergy, created disciplinary enactments that mandated every collegiate church be accompanied by a hospital.  This directly resulted in the creation of more than one hundred fifty-five hospitals between the years of 1207-1577 in Germany alone.

This is an advanced transition, with a reference to the previous piece of information presented.

This explains where the information came from and why that source is reputable.

Here's another example:

The website CourseHero, a site dedicated to providing study materials to medical students from the University of California, revealed one example of the direct link between hospitals and universal religions dating all the way back to the seventh century: In  817 the councils of Aachen, which were run my the diocesan clergy, created disciplinary enactments that mandated every collegiate church be accompanied by a hospital.  This directly resulted in the creation of more than one hundred fifty-five hospitals between the years of 1207-1577 in Germany alone.

This explains where the information came from and why that source is reputable.

This is a simple transition.

This provides context for the paraphrased information that is about to be presented.

The connection between medical attention and universal religions is not only a modern phenomena.  This partnership has been in place throughout history.  According to CourseHero, an online study-aide in  817 the councils of Aachen, which were run my the diocesan clergy, created disciplinary enactments that mandated every collegiate church be accompanied by a hospital.  This directly resulted in the creation of more than one hundred fifty-five hospitals between the years of 1207-1577 in Germany alone.

This is an advanced transition - referencing previous information about more modern connections between universal religions and healthcare.

This provides some context for the paraphrased information that the writer is about to share.

This clearly tells the reader where this information was found and why that source is credible.

As you can tell, there are infinite possibilities to the integration of evidence.  This is where the science of writing meets art.  You need to use your best writing skills to integrate evidence smoothly and make the information you discovered through research accessible for your readers.

For homework tonight, write introductions for each of the pieces of evidence you are planning to integrate into your essay.

The next lesson:
- What strategy works best for each piece of evidence you are going to integrate?
We went over the difference between summary, quote and paraphrase and when to use each one.  We took four different pieces of evidence from student work and turned them into a summary/paraphrase, then we talked about which worked best and why.
(Homework: determine the best way to present your evidence and edit)
These are some notes that I devloped on that:

How to Present Your Evidence

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

8:20 AM

Here is the evidence that I found...

Originally, this was found on Wikipedia, but I knew this was not a reputable source, so I located it from UCLA - now I know I can trust it.

First, I need to determine how I will use this information…

A quote - this is something taken word-for-word from the source.  This is great, if the source material is exactly what you need and there is no extra, superfluous information.  For example:

"No less efficient was the work done by the diocesan clergy in accordance with the disciplinary enactments of the councils of Aachen (817, 836), which prescribed that a hospital should be maintained in connection with each collegiate church."

Or

"During the period 1207-1577 no less tan one hundred and fifty-five hospitals were founded in Germany."

Here's a trick: if you want to leave a part of a quote out: use ellipses: …  Ellipses tell your reader that you removed a part of the quote.  For example:

"No less efficient was the work done by the diocesan clergy...which prescribed that a hospital should be maintained in connection with each collegiate church."

Another trick: use brackets [  ]if you want to change the tense/etc. of one word in order to make it flow more smoothly in your essay.  Brackets tells your reader that you rewrote/changed that one word.  For example:

As early as 817, the connection between hospitals and churches was being mandated when the Aachen council determined that each collegiate church be required to "[maintain]...a hospital...in connection with [it]."

A summary - this is a shortened, condensed version of the text - generally many details are omitted.  A writer would choose to use this, if there was a lot of extra information that was unnecessary for proving their topic and/or if the text was much longer than would be appropriate for the length/style of their paper.  For example:

As early as 817, when it was mandated that any collegiate church be accompanied by a hospital by the Aachen council, churches and hospitals have been closely intertwined.

Or

The mandates set in 817 by the Aachen council that all collegiate churches by accompanied by a hospital led directly to the founding of numerous hospitals in eleventh-century Germany.

A paraphrase - this is a rewritten version of the information, but the details are maintained.  A writer might choose this if they feel like all of the details in the original research should be maintained and they want to make the information fit more smoothly into their paper.  For example:

In  817 the councils of Aachen, which were run my the diocesan clergy, created disciplinary enactments that mandated every collegiate church be accompanied by a hospital.

Or

Between the years of 1207-1577 more than one hundred fifty-five hospitals were created in Germany as a result of these enactments.

All of these quote, summary, paraphrase, must be followed by a citation, but we will get to that later…

Now, it's your turn - for each piece of evidence that you have found, determine the best way to present it - should you quote all or part of it?  Should you summarize?  Would it be most effective as paraphrased information?

Homework: Prepare the research that you have done - for every piece of evidence, quote it , summarize it or paraphrase it.  Remember: MIX IT UP - use some of each in each body paragraph.

Then:
- Adding elaboration.  We looked at those same examples from the previous day that we had Introduced and determined the best form for and worked on adding elaboration.  I very carefully addressed issues that students had in the past with this: only summarizing the information, not tying it to the topic sentence directly, and/or very generic/obvious analysis.
For each peice of evidence I showed what each of those would look like.
(Homework: add elaboration to all evidence)

Here are some notes that I developed on adding elaboration:

How to Add Elaboration/Commentary on to Your Evidence

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

9:37 AM

So far, we have this:

The connection between medical attention and universal religions is not only a modern phenomena.  This partnership has been in place throughout history.  According to CourseHero, an online study-aide, in  817 the councils of Aachen, which were run my the diocesan clergy, created disciplinary enactments that mandated every collegiate church be accompanied by a hospital.  This directly resulted in the creation of more than one hundred fifty-five hospitals between the years of 1207-1577 in Germany alone (Medieval European 1).

We selected the best format to present our research in (in this case we used paraphrased information), we completed an introduction, and we accurately cited the information in MLA format (in this case there was no author, so we used an abbreviated version of the title or the first thing that showed up on the Works Cited page and the page number - this was a document that could be downloaded with multiple pages). 

Now, we need to add the most important part: the elaboration.  In this section, you need to...

• clearly connect this information with your topic sentence, and by default your thesis. 

In order to do this, you must have a strong thesis and strong topic sentences already developed.  In this case the topic sentence is about the clear correlation between universal religions and improved health care world-wide.

• provide your personal analysis of the facts that are presented.

The general rule of thumb is that the elaboration you provide should be roughly the same length (or a little longer) than the evidence it accompanies.

Because these should be your thoughts, there is no need for a citation.

You want to ask yourself: How can I explain how this evidence proves my topic sentence.  For example: how does the fact that since 817 collegiate churches have been mandated to have hospitals prove that universal religions have improved the health of the world by providing better access to healthcare?

Here's an example:

This mandate is a tradition that has been carried on since its inception.  The affiliation with universal religions may have gone by the wayside, but it is undeniable that some of the leading research hospitals in the United States owe their conjunction with collegiate programs to the work done by the diocesan clergy.  The University of North Carolina and the University of Washington are excellent examples of how a mandate set in Aachen over a thousand years ago continues to impact the health of people across the globe to this day.

Here's another approach:

Mandating the creation of hospitals connected to churches helped to solidify a working relationship between universal religions and medicine.  As universal religions expanded and traveled the globe in search of converts, they brought with them this centuries-old tradition.  To this day, it is not uncommon for missionaries from universal religions to travel the globe bringing with them medical knowledge, supplies, and services.  This mandate and the widely dispersed nature of universal religions has helped to bring healthcare to remote regions filled with people who were previously unattended to.

Things to avoid:

• Presenting new information (which would require a citation).  For example:

Currently the 235 university-affiliated research hospitals in the United States prove that this tradition is still alive and strong.

• Summarizing the information you already presented.  For example:

Historically, churches were mandated to create hospitals as part of their duty to the people they served.

• Overly generic, obvious elaboration

Churches and hospitals have been connected for a very long time.

The connection between medical attention and universal religions is not only a modern phenomena.  This partnership has been in place throughout history.  According to CourseHero, an online study-aide, in  817 the councils of Aachen, which were run my the diocesan clergy, created disciplinary enactments that mandated every collegiate church be accompanied by a hospital.  This directly resulted in the creation of more than one hundred fifty-five hospitals between the years of 1207-1577 in Germany alone (Medieval European 1).  This mandate is a tradition that has been carried on since its inception.  The affiliation with universal religions may have gone by the wayside, but it is undeniable that some of the leading research hospitals in the United States owe their conjunction with collegiate programs to the work done by the diocesan clergy.  The University of North Carolina and the University of Washington are excellent examples of how a mandate set in Aachen over a thousand years ago continues to impact the health of people across the globe to this day.

We did it - we now have a piece of evidence that is ready for integration into an essay.  It has been ICEd up - We introduced it clearly, we determined the best format to present it in, we cited it in proper MLA format, and we added insightful elaboration that helped connect it to the topic sentence and therefore the thesis.

Now, it's your turn.  You need to add commentary on to each piece of evidence you are planning to integrate in your essay.  Use the guidelines above. 

Tomorrow you should have a minimum of nine piece of evidence (3 minimum for each body paragraph) all of which are completed ICEd.

Next:
We went over rebuttal/concession paragraphs.  The students were actually quite prepared for this, given that they annotated for both sides during their research and they were asked to write in support of both sides.
(Homework: write a concession paragraph)
Here are some notes that I developed in that light:

How to Write a Rebuttal/Concession

Monday, March 24, 2014

7:02 AM

Introduce the Opposing/Counter Argument

The writer summarizes the opposition's viewpoint openly, accurately, fairly and honestly. Ignoring the opposition is futile in that the audience is aware of the opposing arguments and will doubt the credibility of a presentation that chooses to ignore the opposition rather than deal with it.  You want to state the main points of the opposition.  You will want to cite this.

Ways writers can begin:

But _______ is not completely inaccurate.

It is often argued that...

It is true that...

Opposing views claim...

Acknowledge parts of the opposition that are valid

The writer acknowledges that some of the opposition's claims may be valid, but the writer still shows that his own claims are stronger. The strength of the writer's claims are more convincing than the opposing viewpoints. A writer might explain the opposition's weakest points, contrasting them with his argument's strongest points.  You should make it clear why you disagree with the claims being made by the opposition.  For example, because they have provided information that is outdated or that the argument is filled with fallacies.

Ways writers can begin:

Admittedly,

Certainly,

Of course,

One cannot deny that...

At the same time...

Some argue that…

Others claim...

Counter the Argument

Introduce the rebuttal of the concession argument. The writer refutes the opposition's claims showing they are incorrect or inconsequential--not a real problem.  The specifics of your counter argument will depend on why you disagree with the evidence presented.  You want to use evidence (requiring a quote to disprove the other side) that makes your argument even stronger.  A good tactic is to reserve your strongest evidence for this section, so that you are able to truly breakdown the opposition's claim.

Ways writers can begin:

Nevertheless,

However,

On the other hand,

But...

Introduce the Conclusion

The conclusion should summarize why the counter argument is not a sufficient solution. 

Ways writers can begin

Thus,

Therefore,

As a result,

Sometimes writers might just want to restate his/her position simply.

Citations:

 <http://www.mesacc.edu/~paoih30491/Refutationpgphs.html>

<https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/724/03/>

 <http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091124204339AA61S7r>

2 Sample Refutation Paragraphs

(Each these samples have 2-paragraph refutation; some essays may only have a 1 paragraph refutation while other essays, like research papers, may require a much longer refutation)

Charter Schools Vs. Public Schools (School Choice)

By Mark Liles

Thesis: School choice turns out to not only be a bad idea; it’s also a violation of our constitution.

Refutation: ...[Introduce Opposing Arguments] Considering the many challenges facing public schools, it’s understandable that many people would be eager to pursue new options. Supporters of school choice point out that under the current public school system, parents with economic means already exercise school choice by moving from areas with failing or dangerous schools to neighborhoods with better, safer schools. Their argument is that school choice would allow all parents the freedom, regardless of income level, to select the school that provides the best education (Chub and Moe). Schools would then have to compete for students by offering higher academic results and greater safety. Schools unable to measure up to the standards of successful schools would fail and possibly close. [Acknowledge Valid Parts] Activists within the school choice movement can be applauded for seeking to improve public education, but the changes they propose would in fact seriously damage public education as a whole.

[Counter Arguments] One of the biggest dangers of school choice is the power behind large corporations specializing in opening and operating charter schools. Two notable companies are Green Dot, which is the leading public school operator in Los Angeles (Green Dot), and KIPP, which operates 65 schools in 19 different states [KIPP]. These companies represent a growing trend of privatization of public schools by large corporations. It is feared that these corporations could grow to a point that public control of education would be lost. Education policy would be left in the hands of entrepreneurial think tanks, corporate boards of directors, and lobbyists who are more interested in profit than educating students [Miller and Gerson]. [Begin Concluding] Education should be left in the hands of professional educators and not business people with MBAs. To do otherwise is not only dangerous, it defies common sense.

What I liked about this refutation: The writer calmly and clearly outlines the true concerns and reasons why people oppose the opinion. He makes sure the reader knows that he is outlining opposing viewpoints because he gives hints like "Supporters of school choice point out that..." or "Their argument is that...". This is a nice way for readers to be aware of what others think.

Also, towards the end of the first paragraph, and throughout the second paragraph, the writer spends time clearly attacking these opposing views. He helps the reader feel like the opposing views might SEEM good on the surface, but they are indeed not good enough. He helps the reader see this with hints like "One of the biggest dangers of school choice is..." or "It is feared that...". This paragraph particularly draws in any hostile readers; the writer cunningly draws them in by complimenting their views when he says "Activists within the school choice movement can be applauded for seeking to improve public education," but he immediately points out the flaws, saying that " the changes they propose would in fact seriously damage public education as a whole." Complimenting the opposing argument really invites all your hesitant readers; they’re not threatened, and they’re now more willing to listen to the arguments.

Finally, at the end of the refutation, there is a clear conclusion.

Safe Traveler Cards

Taken from College Writers pg. 733-734

........[Introduce Opposing Arguments] As attractive as Safe Traveler Cards or national ID cards are, they are not without drawbacks. For one thing, as Easterbrook notes, these cards would expedite security procedures only for travelers who do not mind volunteering such information to obtain a card. Moreover they would not prevent passengers with "clean" backgrounds from bringing weapons or explosives on board, as was the case in the September 11 attacks. Perhaps the biggest drawback is that some people believe that these cards would deprive people of their privacy and that for this reason, their disadvantages outweigh their advantages (168).

........However, there are many who disagree with these contentions. [Acknowledge Valid Parts] While national ID cards could lessen a person's anonymity and privacy, [Counter Argument] this is a small loss that would be offset by a great increase in personal security. To Dershowitz--a self proclaimed civil libertarian--this tradeoff would be well worth it. According to Dershowitz, the national ID card would be only a little more intrusive than a photo ID card or social security card. Best of all, it would reduce or eliminate the need for racial profiling: "Anyone who had the [national ID] card could be allowed to pass through airports or building security more expeditiously, and anyone who opted out could be examined much more closely" (590). Such cards would enable airport security officials to do instant background checks on everyone. [Begin Concluding] The personal information in the system would stay in the system and never be made public. The only information on the card would be a person's "name, address, photo, and [finger]print" (Dershowitz 591).

Pasted from <http://www.mesacc.edu/~paoih30491/Refutationpgphs.html>

Notice that there were some things I didn't cover: basic introduction paragraph structure, basic conclusion structure, basic MLA format.  Why: the kids indicated they did not need additional instruction in these areas and their data indicated they did not need more focused instruction in these areas.  I really honed in on what they were struggling with and needed help on.
Then, we moved on to three days of editing:
Each day we broke down a section of the rubric (which is a 10th grade common assessment and was created in collaboration with the other members of my team - we looked at the 9th and 11th grade rubrics that were already in place as well as the rubric recently generated by the corporation creating the mandated state test and created this) and then they edited for that section in particular.  We read each bullet point on the rubric and the kids helped me to make a list as a class of what, specifically, they would edit for in order to help the writer obtain a 4 in each category.  This killed two birds with one stone: first, they became very familiar with the grading criteria and how to disect a rubric, second they worked on their editing and revising skills.  That night they were asked to revise, with that section in mind.
Here is the rubric that we used & the yes-test:

The term yes-test might need some explanation: it is a list of the basic, minimum requirements that a student must meet in order for their paper to be accepted for grading.  This is a VERY useful tool: it basically forces them into only submitting something that will pass and really helps to weed out absolute garbage.

Day One: Purpose/Organization - focus on introduction, body paragraphs & conclusion
Day Two: Evidence/Elaboration
Day Three: Language/Vocabulary & Conventions
On this day we created a word bank as a class with some of the awesome words that my students were using.  I encouraged them to use this word bank and help to improve the word choice of their writer by integrating some of the words we had on the board.  Next, I went over specific convention rules that I noticed them struggling with in the past and on their writes, as well as some convention rules that were especially applicable for this essay.  For example: rules about capitalization surrounding religion, gods, etc. and rules about using commas correctly - esp. with parenthetical expressions, coordinating conjunctions, and conjunctive adverbs.
The due date was next.  On the due date they turned their essay in and they also completed a reflection on the edits they had received as well as the revisions they had done - I will use this to assign points for editing and revising.  As they turned in their essays I checked the yes-test for them and gave students back papers that did not pass for revision over the weekend.
Here is the reflection on the process that I had them complete:

Peer Edit/Revision Reflection

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

9:02 AM

During this essay, we did three peer edits and you were asked to edit for a peer and then make revisions.  This is your opportunity to tell me about the edits you received and the hard work you put in with revisions.  This will be translated in to a grade, both for you and the editors that you are writing about, so please be comprehensive in your explanations.

Edit	Editor - who edited for you?	Most Helpful Comments - three minimum - you need to screen shot them and paste those here	Revisions you made to your essay based on feedback from this edit - be specific
Tues: Intro/Body/Conc.
Wed: Evid./Elab.
Thurs: Lang./Vocab & Conv.

Some notes: the students had already covered a unit in the AP Human Geography class about world religions prior to my starting this unit.  The AP Human Geography teacher is grading the Evidence/Elaboration section of the rubric - as she is much more qualified to do this in reference to this topic than I am.
We did have to spend some time talking about how to approach religion from an academic lense.
This unit took me about 2-3 weeks.  We did have state testing and other disruptions during this time, making the flow a bit difficult, but I am very much so looking foward to what they turn in.  I have had many of these kids since they were in 9th grade and they have developed so much as writers.  I am very hopeful that I will be reading some insightful, interesting essays here in the next week or so.