Now that I am very close to delivery, everyone seems to have questions or comments about the pregnancy. Comments range from rude to just plain unintelligent. I just had to share some of them, because they are so stinkin' funny:
1. Thayer's misconception is probably the cutest, so I guess that I will start there. Thayer thinks that he has a baby in his belly and proudly tells just about anyone who will listen. His baby is named Mishka - just like Mommy's and from time to time Justin and I will be asked to feel his baby kicking. He makes comments often about how "HUGE" his belly is getting (I think he might be projecting a bit here) and when asked will claim that his baby will "pop out" in five minutes. At the last doctor's visit he insisted that the doctor check his "emisphil" and he proudly pulled up his shirt, so that he could hear his baby kicking. The whole time he had the most serious expression. We did tell the doctor that we have informed Thayer that only girls have babies. I wonder how this misconception will play out. I hope that Thayer isn't too disappointed when my baby pops out and his is still stuck in there.
2. Some of my students have also delighted me with their misconceptions. Some of my favorite questions have been: "Does the food hit your baby's head when you eat?" Another student explained that babies do not live in their mother's stomachs.
3. Another great one from my students was when they wanted to know if the baby pooped inside of me and if he did, would the poop just stay in my body forever (because that would be really gross).
4. Another good one from the high school front was when the kids were concerned about the baby kicking me and whether or not it hurt. This was prompted when Bandon had just kicked my ribs and I must have emitted a slight noise. The kids thought some reasonable responses to the baby kicking would be to shake my belly or maybe to kind of push him, so he knew not to do that again.
5. Any of the misconceptions could lead to an excellent argument for mandatory sex-education courses at the high school level, but the last comments on this day were the most disturbing: an impromptu birthing plan, just in case I went into labor during class. One student volunteered to drive to the hospital (they have been driving for about six months, so...), another student offered to help with delivery if needed (they did pass a CPR class recently) and another offered to take pictures. They probably thought this was quite a good plan, but it would have to be my worst-case scenario birthing plan.
6. Some people just make really awkward comments - like a lady at the gym who was swimming in the lane next to me and despite the fact that she was not pregnant commented that people would be trying to guess which of us was further along. I wasn't sure how to respond, so I laughed awkwardly and kept on swimming.
7. Another of my favorite misconceptions comes from Thayer. Now that my belly is quite prominent, Thayer likes to touch the baby or pick on him. He also likes to listen to what the baby is saying and will usually report that "he likes that" or that "he's laughing". One of the best stories about Thayer's interpretation of Bandon's communications was in church last Sunday. It was a three hour service, the bishop was preaching and Thayer was getting a bit restless near the end. He had his head laying against my belly and was letting me know that Bandon was laughing. I asked Thayer what Bandon was saying and he reported (quite loudly) that Bandon was saying, "I want outta here." He repeated this a few times.
8. The release of Twilight: Breaking Dawn has really contributed to the misconceptions of my high school students. They were concerned that if I bent over, the baby could kick me and break my ribs, just like Bella's baby in the movie. Again, the concern was sweet and my classroom floors were cleaner than ever, but the naivete of their concern was a bit well...concerning.